What year where you born? 1953
What is your gender? female
How would you describe your nationality/ethnic/cultural orgin? Scots-Irish
Where do you live? Pacific NW
Are you married? No
Do you have children? 5 sons
If you work. What is your profession? or What do you do? Retired, but pursuing a writing career.
What is your educational background? High school.
Do you have pets? 1 cat
Tell us a little about yourself.
As a victim of childhood sexual abuse, my life has been chaotic beyond words. I married young and began a family when I was 18. The marriage didn’t last long as I had so many intimacy issues, not knowing from where they stemmed. I then married and divorced 3 more times and ended up having five sons.
After my sons were all grown and I became a nana, a good friend saw an episode of Dateline dealing with DID and was struck by many similarities between me and the man profiled on the show. She knew someone who was married to a multiple; we were introduced and after discussing the possibility of my having DID with this new friend of mine, everything began falling into place. I began therapy and was told that I definitely am a multiple.
The diagnosis was both a blessing and a huge source of discouragement. It was a blessing because for the first time since my childhood my life began to make sense. I knew that DID explained so many things about me and my chaotic life which I’d never before been able to comprehend. On the other hand, knowing I have a mental disorder was shameful to me.
It’s been a long, bumpy road trying to adapt to being a multiple in a world of singletons. I figured out quickly that there are some people you can trust with the news of your DID, while others are not safe to confide in. I feel as if I’m living a sort of double life. My kids are grown, my grandkids are getting older: but here I am, tending to my other children, those who live inside of me and require nurturing.
About 4 years ago I began blogging about my DID in an effort to better understand it. I needed a place where I could say what I wanted to without worrying about the responses I’d get. Also, I wanted to help demystify this disorder. Not everyone’s DID is as melodramatic as Sybil’s! I’ve made some great friends from blogging; I’ve written about everything going on in my life–not just the things pertaining to DID. I blog about my writing aspirations, my grandkids, my faith in God. I’ve tried to present a well-rounded picture of what DID is like for me, always bearing in mind that it is different for everyone who lives with this disorder.
Recently I published a book of poems about my abusive childhood. I’ve also been published several places online, and was recently the featured poet in Pink Panther, a magazine which also publishes a printed version. It seems this redheaded stepchild has finally found her voice! My abuser (my stepdad) used to scoff at my writing. I began writing stories at the age of 7; whenever he’d walk into a room and see me writing he’d mock and shame me. For decades my passion for writing became a sort of furtive, secretive thing. But now I’ve come full circle. Now the truth can be told and, in the telling, hopefully I can speak out for those innocent children who have no voice in this world.
